Somewhere in your collection you have a watch you are ashamed to admit to owning. It lurks at the bottom tier of your watch box like a guilty secret pleasure.  With its boldness, its blatant trend chasing, its strident bad taste, or its humble quartz driven low dollar origins, it defies every rule of what the Watchuseek cognoscenti would define as an appropriate watch lover’s watch, but for some strange reason it ticks, or at one time ticked, all the right boxes for you. Someone somewhere is guilty of coveting one of these secret crush watches. Is it you?

HUBLOT BIG BANG JEANS


Admit it, you’ve got the ripped jeans, and you thought the ripped jeans Hublot Big Bang Jeans would complete the look. This is precisely what Jean-Claude Biver had in mind. The denim which features in the dial and strap of the watch is sourced from an Italian denim manufacturer who supplies some of the world’s largest luxury and fashion names. The watch was introduced nearly 5 years ago, and at 44mm, the size is beginning to look as outmoded as 70’s flares, so you can still pick up one of these denim clad babies on several websites.




CASIO F-91W


The original F-91W was introduced in 1991 and is still in production and demand. It is popular for its simplicity, reliability, and unpretentious, clean, no frills design. Available in several variants it is the watch of nerds and convenience store owners. Even Casio is slightly embarrassed by it, for they do not release sales figures for the model, they merely admit it continues to sell "well". The battery lasts for 7 years so it just keeps going and going. It is the Volkswagen Beetle of the watch world, a thing of utilitarian beauty.




 NIXON CAPTAIN PHASMA SENTRY SS


Being a Star Wars fan boy, you immediately jumped on the bandwagon when Nixon, the cool California surf brand, released the Star Wars collection a couple of years ago. They had you sold with the first few words: ‘Clad in distinctive metallic armor, Captain Phasma commands the First Order's legions of troopers.’ The watch has a custom gold blaster gun seconds hand, a First Order Crown icon fill, and a dial design inspired by Captain Phasma’s protective armor. Oh dear.




VIANNEY HALTER ANTIQUA PERPETUAL CALENDAR


Described by some as the most beautiful watch of all time, the Antiqua is Vianney Halter’s tribute to all things Steampunk. But make no mistake, this watch is made to the highest standards of traditional Swiss watchmaking by one of the true masters. It features an instantaneous perpetual calendar that accurately records the passage of time, the days, the dates, months and leap years with February 29th accounted for, with an adjustment needed only once every 100 years or so. The only problem with it is, it looks a little too quirky on the wrist and is guaranteed to receive more than its fair share of knocks and scratches because of its unusual clunky dimensions. That and the fact it costs over CHF 117,000 means it is likely to remain little more than a secret crush.




ROLEX 18K YELLOW GOLD PRESIDENT DAY DATE


It’s hard to find anyone who will admit to liking serious bling on their watches, especially in the West, but head to Africa, the Middle and Far East and bling is revered. This is a genuine Rolex Day Date, the latest model Presidential, with a 41mm case size.  Made of 18k Gold. The custom-made bezel is solid 18k gold with large fully faceted round brilliant cut diamonds that are each a whopping .35 ct.  Accenting the bezel is a VS clarity diamond dial, made with a fully pave setting from the best hand setters in the business. $55,000 worth of excess, someone out there believes this is the way you show the world you have truly arrived.




TAG HEUER CONNECTED MODULAR 45


Are you ashamed to admit you long for a TAG Heuer Connected smart watch? You’ve read the sneers and snobbery on Watchuseek, but still you remain smart watch curious. Jean-Claude Biver wants to shift 150,000 units of this watch. He wants to own your wrist with this smart watch, so why deny yourself any longer. Running on Google’s Android Wear 2.0 and with a modular design, almost every part of the watch can be replaced and customized. The touchscreen watch head can even be replaced by a classic mechanical watch. The TAG Heuer Modular Connected 45 has up to 4,000 different variations of watch that can be created. Although most of the varieties involve customizable screen displays, there are physical straps, lugs, buckles, and, importantly, the ability to switch between a digital and mechanical module. You want one, don’t you.




ROMAIN JEROME TOURBILLON POKÉMON


Finally, the most outlandish creation yet from the house of Romain Jerome, responsible for creating many a secret crush watch. Apparently, a huge hit among the playboys of the desert in Qatar and the United Arab Emirates, this $200,000 man-child watch features an extremely colorful dial, which stands out from the all-black 48mm case and hands. Completing the ensemble, the black alligator strap is enhanced with yellow and blue stitching as a tribute to the Pokémon logo’s colors. The composition and the placement of the characters were created to appreciate the, ahem,  'beauty' of the dial’s numerous Pokémon images. As the most famous of them all, Pikachu is the centerpiece and is placed at the forefront. To complete the Pokémon scene, the tourbillon bridge is shaped like a lightning bolt, one of the key elements of Pikachu. Grow up.