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Okay, so I got to thinking about what the WIS/WUS handbook would be like if one existed.

Chapter 1
Basic Rules.

1. Tag Heuer never wins a poll. Should a member feel the need to express the desire to own one, he or she may be subject to ridicule and be ostracized.

2. Omega wins all polls. Should Omega not be mentioned as a selectable option, it is highly suggested that you still recommend the polling member purchase an Omega, preferably a Speedmaster with hesalite crystal to add extra character and a certain warmess to the dial.

3. Only praise Rolex in the Rolex Forum. Praise in any other forum is strictly prohibited. Please note that Rolex bashing is permitted in the forum of your choosing.

4. If a member should feel the need to mention an occupation which requires physical activity, please recommend that they buy a G-Shock. When said member expresses his or her dislike for digital watches, please post a picture of one of the many analog dialed versions.

5. If your mechanical watch is less than five seconds fast or slow per day, please mention it as much as possible to make other members feel bad about themselves.

6. Ball watches do not have transferable warranties. Creating a new thread to voice your anger is not only fashionable, but highly recommended.

Thats my contribution... Please feel free to add your own rules and/or chapters :-!
 

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Okay, so I got to thinking about what the WIS/WUS handbook would be like if one existed.

Chapter 1
Basic Rules.

1. Tag Heuer never wins a poll. Should a member feel the need to express the desire to own one, he or she may be subject to ridicule and be ostracized.

2. Omega wins all polls. Should Omega not be mentioned as a selectable option, it is highly suggested that you still recommend the polling member purchase an Omega, preferably a Speedmaster with hesalite crystal to add extra character and a certain warmess to the dial.

3. Only praise Rolex in the Rolex Forum. Praise in any other forum is strictly prohibited. Please note that Rolex bashing is permitted in the forum of your choosing.

4. If a member should feel the need to mention an occupation which requires physical activity, please recommend that they buy a G-Shock. When said member expresses his or her dislike for digital watches, please post a picture of one of the many analog dialed versions.

5. If your mechanical watch is less than five seconds fast or slow per day, please mention it as much as possible to make other members feel bad about themselves.

6. Ball watches do not have transferable warranties. Creating a new thread to voice your anger is not only fashionable, but highly recommended.

Thats my contribution... Please feel free to add your own rules and/or chapters :-!
Very funny! :-!

I'll add...

7. If a member is looking for an new automatic watch, please suggest a Seiko Monster since everyone knows that it is the best watch ever made under $300. :-d
 

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9: Never ever mention a watch with less WR than 1000m on the Dive Forum.
 

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Rule 10:
If you have no knowledge of how your watch works you must post at least one question a day until you become a full fledged WIS.

True story.
I had a lady ask if I could fix her watch.She said she has been winding it and winding it and it just wont work.She stated she wound it religously every morning at the same time for the past 5 years,but now it wont work.
I took it to my workbench,removed the back,replaced the battery,handed it back to the customer and said "That will be "X" $,and I'll see you in another 5 years".

Ive also had customers with mechanical watches ask if I could replace the battery because their watch wasnt working.

Like John Wayne once said "Life is hard,even harder if your stupid.":-x
 

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11. Always have room for a Timex in the collection, but never mention it.

12. Best bang-for-buck is Seiko, but just for a beater. Even if you feel your Seiko is the best, don't dare say it is anything but a beater.


cool thread...
 

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15. At least one thread comparing watch companies to car companies has to be started each week.
 

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#16 (I think) Always belittle anyone who would be stupid enough to spend money on, or recieve as a gift, or look admiringly at, or have even a mild attraction to any past, present, or future Invicta.

#17 Flame anyone who supports the guy in #16 or even posts the name Invicta.
 

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#19 Ridecule any member regardless of how new they are, when they post a thread on their new purchase and no pics. Flame them and say "pics or it didnt happen" till they fold and buy a camera

#20 Threads without pictures, regardless of how interesting they are, are far lesser in the fun factor. Please try to add at least one pic regardless whether it is pertaining to the topic at all. Period.

#21 Enforce rule #20 as often as possible
 

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#19 Ridecule any member regardless of how new they are, when they post a thread on their new purchase and no pics. Flame them and say "pics or it didnt happen" till they fold and buy a camera

#20 Threads without pictures, regardless of how interesting they are, are far lesser in the fun factor. Please try to add at least one pic regardless whether it is pertaining to the topic at all. Period.

#21 Enforce rule #20 as often as possible
Sorry Dom, but I have to point out that there are no pics in your post! :-d :-! o|
 

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22. Point out your manliness with the phrase: "I just can't wear gold."
23. Re-affirm your manliness with the phrase "Scratches add character."
24. Chisel your manliness in granite forever with the phrase: "I'm a tool watch kinda guy."
 

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Always nice to read a thread like this first thing in the office :)

What's the reasoning behind the non-transferable warranties noted in number 6?
 

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Always nice to read a thread like this first thing in the office :)

What's the reasoning behind the non-transferable warranties noted in number 6?
Some double-talk blah blah blah about combatting Demon Gray Marketeers I think.
 

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25. When boasting of your Automatic watch's accuracy, feel free to state that it beats COSC standards even if you have never timed it accordingly or know what they are.
 
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